1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 2. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 3. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 4. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 5. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either; just leave me the heck alone. 6. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper that's the time to do it. 7. Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 8. Give a man the fire and you'll keep him warm for one day. Set the man on fire -- and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life.