I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. God must love stupid people, he made so many.   I took an IQ test and the results were negative. If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.   Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. My karma ran over my dogma. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.   Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.   He who laughs last thinks slowest. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.  Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.